By Rochelle E. Brenner
What: Lauren Wiley’s viewing Saturday, March 8 Jacob F. Ruth Funeral Directors
Read more about her here: https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/name/lauren-wiley-obituary?id=57703474
Following the memorial: Action Karate Mt. Airy will host Lauren Wiley’s family, friends and mourners from 4 pm to 7 pm on Saturday, March 8.
Lauren Wiley’s family has requested to have the reception at Action Karate. The team at the karate school is rallying to make it happen even though this is certainly not our expertise. This is the first time we’ve ever hosted a memorial event.
Lauren Wiley was a frequent visitor to Action Karate since 2018. Her first visit was for Elliot’s pre-school aged birthday party (4 or 5?). Shortly after that, her older son Ben enrolled in the adult class as a teenager until he prepared to leave for college. Her husband, Jason, had practiced Tae Kwan Do in the past and had spent a few months sharpening his skills at Action after work.
Their younger son Elliot, a student at Houston, continued to train and joined the after school program. Just last month he graduated to solid brown belt and earned his white uniform. Karate is a safe space for him.
I did a little bit of research, talked to knowledgeable colleagues, and found tons of interesting perspective. Some more experienced folks shared that kids often have nervous energy to get out after the service and benefit from a distraction. The ability to do that safely at karate (as opposed to a hall or house of worship) may be helpful. That had never occurred to me personally and hearing it gave me a strong sense of responsibility.
The karate school can provide a supportive environment for the kids. It allows them to engage in physical activity, which can be a helpful way to cope with emotions and relieve stress. The familiar setting can also bring a sense of comfort and normalcy during a difficult time.
Additionally, being active can help children process their grief in a healthy manner. It provides an opportunity for them to connect with friends and peers who may be going through similar feelings, fostering a sense of community and support. Overall, it’s a thoughtful way to honor the memory of the loved one while also catering to the needs of a child and their friends. Knowing the children are in a safe space to grieve and run around may also give the adults a little more peace and comfort to focus on their own grief.
Expressing care and support in such a sensitive situation is crucial. Here are some suggestions for how to respond if you encounter someone who suffered a loss of a parent at a young age:
1. Acknowledge the Loss: You might say, “I heard about your loved one. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
2. Offer a Listening Ear: Let them know that it’s okay to talk about feelings or memories. You could say, “If you ever want to talk about the loss or how you’re feeling, I’m here to listen.”
3. Be Present: Sometimes, just being there without saying much can be comforting. Offer your presence and support without putting pressure on someone to share.
4. Check-In Regularly: Continue to check in over the following days and weeks. This can help foster support and less isolation. Sometimes they don’t want to talk right away, but need it after things settle down and sink in weeks and months later.
5. Maintain Routine: If possible, try to keep the routine consistent. Familiarity can provide a sense of stability during a challenging time.
6. Respect Space: If someone seems withdrawn or doesn't want to talk, respect their space while letting them know you’re available whenever they’re ready. Your compassion and sensitivity can make a significant difference.
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