By Rochelle E. Brenner
It’s officially my hobby to trick celebrities into saying something cool about martial arts and get a nugget of advice for the kids we teach at Action Karate.
I got tickets to see author/podcaster Malcolm Gladwell at the Free Library of Philadelphia at the stop of his book tour for the newly released The Revenge of the Tipping Point.
Question: My job is I’m a martial arts instructor and I teach kids and try to sprinkle in things I’ve learned from your books … the life skills… and see things the way you see them. What are some of the things you’d love to point out?
His answer: “I was much more willing to give advice on parenting before I became one,” he said.
We laughed. He’s the dad of a toddler.
His real answer: “Work hard … So much of what is meaningful and joyful in life comes from the application of effort. If I can teach them that, I would have succeeded.”
He went on. “A serious answer to the question: I guess one of the lovely things on parenting is there’s no such thing as an original observation. Every single thing you think about your kids has been thought about by parents a billion times in human history. I find that very refreshing.”
“What I’m about to say every parent in the room has also thought. Parenthood is about the steady narrowing of your expectations.”
He did, however, share a story in the talk that led me to think of a way we can expand our childrens’ expectations.
He shared a story about an aquarium experiment that struck me as a perfect lesson of the week. Science researcher Richard Nesbitt conducted a study where he showed both American and Japanese schoolchildren the same aquarium scene, then asked them to describe it. The Americans, from a Western mindset, emphasized the biggest, most eye-catching part of the scene: A big pink fish swam this way. The Eastern-educated students spent more time describing everything around the fish – capturing the entire scene: rocks, plants, water flow. Nesbitt suggested that when we look at situations from the perspective of everything going on, what motivates people, where they come from, we get a more complete, accurate, fair picture. If we can look at the details of people and history, we gain new insights.
“I don’t think people can be understood out of their context,” Gladwell said. We have to look for the rocks.
Other Highlights of his talk:
“America is full of a lot of amazing, wonderful, interesting people.”
“Before the internet ruined everything.”
On the proliferation of smartphones, especially in schools:
“The cell phone is a real problem the extent to which it distorted patterns of interactions.”
“It’s a 3rd person in the conversation.”
“We can’t bring toys into a classroom. Removing them is long overdue.”
“I wasn’t a good enough listener. I had an agenda imposed on the interaction.”
“You have to listen and respond to what they’re saying.”
“Illuminating the nature of a problem and asking the right questions, you’re halfway to a solution.”
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