By Rochelle E. Brenner
Families that kick together, stick together.
A huge meaningful piece of modern American family life is missing: bonding time. Everyone is staring at their own screen. Parents are driving kids from activity to activity after work. Families are fractured.
Common popular bonding activities that bring families together: hiking, camping, biking, cooking, volunteering, gaming, crafting. Those are all good. But none of them have the added comprehensive benefits of martial arts for each individual and the family unit. Martial arts is the Gorilla Glue of bonding. There’s fitness, setting goals, healthy competition, earning new ranks, learning new things, creating core memories, building confidence, teamwork and constant growth.
You bring your stress home to your family. With martial arts, you bring stress-relief.
There is nothing like earning a Black Belt with your child. There’s nothing like experiencing real growth, effort and grit in a pursuit with your family.
If you want to increase the likelihood your child will be a black belt one day, get on the mat with them. Encourage other relatives to join their journey: cousins, aunts, godparents, siblings. When crisis happens, you have something positive to distract you from the drama. When your family voted for the other political candidate, or your child fails a class or there’s a divorce, martial arts can be the one bright spot of bonding that makes the difficult days more manageable. Having that consistent experience is the perfect focus away from the day’s struggles. It’s a long-term solution.
I casually asked a few martial arts families about what they get out of it for their family life. Here’s their responses:
“I’ve gotten more active and confident to get in the mix. I’m happy because out of everything it takes with everyday family responsibilities and life, I do this for me. I was asked that question, ‘What do you do for yourself?’ and I now understand and can answer that I am doing it now.” Kyle, father of 4. He’s a senior black belt, his mom is a black belt, 2 of his kids are black belts and 2 more are working toward it.
“It is a shared experience rather than sitting on the sidelines like every other sport. Setting goals together and following through together is so much more impactful than just telling them to do it.” Kelly, divorced mother of 5, four of whom are black belts along with her. She also says that when her kids struggled in class, her ability to train with them at home helped them get over the hump.
“Being on the mat with my son was a blast-spending time together talking about class lessons and watching him laugh at me trying to keep up. He got a kick out of seeing me struggle and learn something new. I think it showed him that even dads can figure things out with a little effort.” Jay, whose son is a black belt, took a month of classes.
“The experiences you get with friends and your own dad are VERY different. It’s kind of like a new layer of added responsibility in a good way to not only make sure that I improve, but that we both as a family have a good experience. I feel in a way that it has made me a more communicative person in general. I have also experienced heightened motivation almost like a friendly competition and overall just a fun and light environment not only at karate but also at home because we have something to truly bond over, which in the past I have felt to be very difficult.” Daniel is a teenage black belt, he trains with his black belt father, siblings, niece and nephew.
“Connection across all family members and a collective accomplishment as you rank but also after each class. Engaging physically together is different than playing games or reading a book together. It’s a shared experience similar to that of being on a vacation event together.” Tim, his wife and both teenage kids are black belts.
Comments