By Rochelle E. Brenner
When a shy child smiles, it can mean they are nervous and uncomfortable.
When a shy child truly smiles, they are relaxed and confident.
Martial arts instructors are trained to know the difference to bring out the biggest smile for a lasting impact on a child’s life. By addressing shyness in a martial arts class, children can gain social skills in a positive environment to thrive both on and off the mat.
For many shy children, expressing themselves can be a daunting task. Martial arts provide a unique outlet for self-expression through movement. Whether it's through kata, sparring, or practicing techniques, kids can channel their emotions and frustrations in a constructive way. This physical expression can lead to better emotional regulation and a deeper understanding of their feelings.
While shyness is a natural trait, it often has a negative effect on the child’s opportunities and relationships. If parents do not help their shy kids step out of their comfort zones, the kids are more likely to experience: increased isolation, delayed social development, low self-esteem, social anxiety, fewer life experiences and weaker relationships. The longer they’re afraid of failure, and afraid to try, the more they miss out.
When kids are shy, it’s hard to hide. They don’t look confident. Besides forced fake smiles, they avoid eye contact, blush, are quick to cry, get embarrassed easily, blink a lot, nervously twirl their hair and shake or tap.
The key to getting them out of their shell is using their natural positive characteristics.
1. Empathy - Being sensitive to other people’s feelings, shy people can often be comforting and encouraging to other people. Telling them they are helping others – rather than calling attention to themselves – improves their confidence.
2. Observant- While other people are quick to try, shy people benefit if you let them pause to watch first. They pay close attention to details and demonstrate accuracy quicker.
3. Thoughtfulness: Shy people often take time to think before they speak or act, which can lead to meaningful responses. They don’t call out, and when they raise their hand or feel confident enough to speak up, they exude joy.
3. Deep relationships - Shy students benefit from being paired with familiar leaders and classmates as much as possible so they feel comfortable quicker.
4. Calm - The shy kids provide a balance for other kids that are attention-seeking.
5. Listening - Since shy people tend to be good listeners, an instructor will start out talking to them to build rapport, rather than structured teaching right away.
6. Creative: A common characteristic of shyness includes being creative in individual pursuits. Since martial arts is an art, there are ways to incorporate creative movement into their training.
As shy children learn to express themselves and connect with others in a supportive environment, martial arts can become a powerful tool for personal growth. Shyness often stems from a lack of confidence in social situations. By working to overcome it, children can develop a stronger sense of self-worth and belief in their abilities. For parents seeking to empower their shy children, enrolling them in a martial arts program may be one of the best decisions they can make.
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